Tag Archives: Ben Garrido

The Potency!

  Crippling dandruff! Unforgivable nipple abuse! Viking space poetry! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, The Potency! is officially available and, just between you and me, absolutely required if you wish to participate in fashionable society this summer. Indeed, scientifically, metaphysically and grammatically proven benefits of The Potency! ownership include the following: 1. Make your husband’s mistress […]

The Blackguard – My Novel in Ten Sentences

My first published novel, The Blackguard, is about 60,000 words long. I’m going to try and explain it in ten sentences. Props to Diotima’s Ladder for this idea. The Blackguard is about oppressed minorities getting run over by the march of modernity, except here those minorities are white supremacists who practice Chinese-style foot-binding, East African-style scarification […]

Arrhythmia In a Can

This article was originally published in the Reno News and Review. It appears here in slightly updated form. College means five years—four, if you’re lucky— of burn out, poverty and scary neighbors. Intelligence means less than endurance, ingenuity means less than perseverance, and noble purposes mean so much less than chemical stimulants that it’s kind […]

Cheap-ish Cars For People Who Regret Their Tribal Tattoos

Only a decade ago, we who prefer to look down on the vulgarians could enter the nearest car dealership and reliably find something to snicker at. Women with $300 shoes and tiny, annoying dogs flooded dealerships in order to buy Cadillac and Lexus SUVs that combined the efficiency of oil field fires with the road […]

No More Daewoo of Death, It’s the Hyundai of Horror!

THE TRANSITION My 98 Daewoo Nubira, that rusty, crusty old car my middle school students and I transformed into a competent track rig four years ago, has finally passed from this mortal coil. A chunk of concrete, set at the perfect height to go under the bumper, snag the rear subframe and twist it beyond […]

Antagonizing More Critters in the Woods

I earned my master’s degree at PaiChai University in Doma neighborhood. This is about 2 miles east of Gwanjeo neighborbood, where I work, and about 7 miles southeast of Goong neighborhood, where I live. Seeing as I volunteered last weekend to help my friends at PaiChai, it seemed only natural I should take advantage of […]

The Blackguard is Official

Eleven years, thousands of hours and enough time grimacing at mutilated notebooks to scare off an entire congregation of nice old ladies. The Blackguard, my first novel, that monster collection of revisions and one-more-things and insecurities – it’s done. I hope you take a moment to consider the new release on amazon.com. If you wish […]

The Making of The Blackguard

I was 23 years-old when I sat down in a Starbucks in Sparks, Nevada, opened a notebook I’d stolen from the air conditioning wholesaler where I worked and wrote the first scene of what would become The Blackguard. From a broad, plot-centric point of view, The Blackguard covers an isolated community of white supremacists trying to fight […]

I’m Officially a Novelist!

  I believe I’m experiencing incontinence of joy. I’ve got this thing going on where I stand in my bedroom, flapping my hands like a developmentally disabled but very happy chicken. No, I have not taken up hard drugs! No, I have not lost 18 consecutive rounds of beer pong! I am frightening anyone who […]

CJ’s Nightmare, An Excerpt from The Potency.

CJ adjusted the fine, silk collar on his shirt and brushed aside a barely visible spec of fuzz on his slacks. He looked up to see Chul seated, smoking in front of an enormous wooden book case. He was sure they had not met before, but things were going well and so CJ smiled and […]