Category Funny
The Return of Bendysseus
Sing, oh Muse, of the man of many ghetto-fabulous devices, who wandered LAX of the land of California and Incheon of the land of Korea, doing so after sacking the shops and wineries of the famous Citadel of Oregon, taking with him many treasures and presents. Many were the security offices he saw and varied […]
Surprising New Solution to the Trolley Dilemma
The trolley problem is a classic experiment in ethics. The scenario is like this: You can choose the path of an out of control trolley as it careens at a group of innocent people. You can do nothing and allow the train to hit the group OR you can change the tracks and intentionally murder […]
I Do Care (About Money) – A Song Translation Project
“I 돈 Care” is a song by comedy group “The Brave Guys.” That “돈” part of the song title means “money” in Korean and is pronounced “don,” which is close enough to “don’t” to make the whole thing a nerdy, bilingual pun. It is legitimately a funny song, and I’m aware that nobody in Korea […]
Rust Belt This
The Upper Midwest is a nice place — if you don’t mind cold winters. Since the mid-80s, Wisconsin has had lower unemployment than the national average for all but two years. It has a diverse economy, US News says it’s the eighth smartest state, and there’s lots of delicious beer. I could go on, but […]
The Homely Gangsters Episode 8
In the most serious episode to date, we tackle the Eastern and Western zodiac/horoscope. Also, if you don’t share our zodiac signs, you suck. https://www.buzzsprout.com/255212/1093208-the-horoscope-is-about-zodiac-your-world?fbclid=IwAR0dJofnPT-MajE5SIdHGzxJfxglgjdoEB4rqkoFmO-S_TNpgyk0JrnLuhA
The Potency!
Crippling dandruff! Unforgivable nipple abuse! Viking space poetry! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, The Potency! is officially available and, just between you and me, absolutely required if you wish to participate in fashionable society this summer. Indeed, scientifically, metaphysically and grammatically proven benefits of The Potency! ownership include the following: 1. Make your husband’s mistress […]
The Face of Oppression is Positively Adorable
While walking to my local grocery last Wednesday I found four hamsters in a trash pile. Unfortunately, two had already died and the other two looked like they were well on the way to freezing. I don’t really think of myself as the sort of person who has hamsters, but I also wasn’t going to […]
Using the Internet to Diagnose Myself Via the Notoriously Precise Science of Dream Analysis
I recently realized that I’m living a repressed, empty life of debauchery, gluttony and uncontrollable bellybutton lint. As such, I’ve abandoned all my “intellectual” pursuits in order to immerse myself in the new age. No more philosophy. Plato is dead to me. Science holds no more charm. You can no longer lead me astray with […]
A Lover’s Guide to Daecheong Lake
Woe be unto lovers. Who has not, upon visitng the same theater for the eighteenth time, grown weary of their love? Who, groaning and gnashing teeth, has not spent sleepless nights asking “how might I spice up date night?” Surely there are few who, casting their eyes upon Pizza Hut’s “Deluxe” buffet for the sixth […]
Word Shape
I recently did a writing exercise with Karen Terrey where we attempted to associate words not by meaning, but by shape or sound. The idea was to open up new avenues of connection in our writing. This is what I came up with, beginning with the word defenestrate. You might have more fun reading this […]
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