Surprising New Solution to the Trolley Dilemma

File:Trolley problem.png - Wikimedia Commons

The trolley problem is a classic experiment in ethics. The scenario is like this:

You can choose the path of an out of control trolley as it careens at a group of innocent people. You can do nothing and allow the train to hit the group OR you can change the tracks and intentionally murder one person, standing on the other track.

Traditional philosophers, hidebound and conventional, typically waste time with questions of responsibility and utilitarianism. If, they argue, you care more about “doing no harm” then you allow the train to take its natural course and do nothing. If, on the other hand, you value utilitarian calculations, you will actively decide to kill the single person and spare the group. All so familiar, all so tired.

Thankfully, the radical philosopher Nicholas Masicampo has awakened us from our dogmatic slumber with his striking new solution to the problem.

Because hey, if you’re stupid enough to lay on the train tracks, we’re better off without your dumb ass.

Happy New Year everyone,



  1. Dear Ben,

    HaHaHa! I can see that my multiple interactions with you in your post entitled “The tragic Heroes of 2020” have brought you out of your hiatus into the blogosphere! And you have hit us with your facetious conclusion of the “Trolley Dilemma”….

    Yours sincerely,

    1. Hahaha, yep! Thanks for waking me up.

  2. Excellent and profound!

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