Category Funny

The Stupor Bowl

In trivial news, the New England Patriots lost the 2008 Super Bowl to the New York Giants. In non-trivial news, I celebrated that day by attending the momentous, historical Stupor Bowl VI. The Stupor Bowl is a more or less annual exhibition of mutant bike culture and extreme- skills contests put on by the Reno […]

Cheap-ish Cars For People Who Regret Their Tribal Tattoos

Only a decade ago, we who prefer to look down on the vulgarians could enter the nearest car dealership and reliably find something to snicker at. Women with $300 shoes and tiny, annoying dogs flooded dealerships in order to buy Cadillac and Lexus SUVs that combined the efficiency of oil field fires with the road […]

The Meaning of Life

This is a translated version of the speech I delivered yesterday in my Toastmaster’s Meeting. Yoon Du-kyeong, Kim Hyeon and Lee Kyeong are my students, and fellow Toastmasters, at Mokwon University. The original is here, in Korean. What is the meaning of life? That’s a very deep question, so I’ll give you a second to […]

인생의 중심

이런 기사는 저의 토스트마스터스의 연설입니다. 윤두경, 김현과 이경은 토스트마스터스 멤버와 목원대학생입니다.  영어로 쓴 각본은 여기있습니다.  인생의 중심 뭐에요? 아주 깊은 생각입니다. 윤두경, 인생의 중심 뭐에요? “즐거운 삶을 지내면 인생의 중심입니다.” 흠. 흥미로워요. 틀리지만, 흥미로워요. 김현, 인생의 중심 뭐에요? “가족은 인생의 중심입니다.” 아뇨. 인생의 중심은 철학입니다! 어린이부터 저의 인생을 이해하고 싶었습니다. 초딩때 백과사전을 읽었습니다. 특별히 공룡의 […]

Anonymity, Thy Name is Avante

I took pictures of all these cars in one small parking lot. I did move my car one time, so you can see it in a couple different pictures. So yeah, gold star if you can guess which one is mine.

Antagonizing More Critters in the Woods

I earned my master’s degree at PaiChai University in Doma neighborhood. This is about 2 miles east of Gwanjeo neighborbood, where I work, and about 7 miles southeast of Goong neighborhood, where I live. Seeing as I volunteered last weekend to help my friends at PaiChai, it seemed only natural I should take advantage of […]

Epic Delicacies of Korea

  Since legends of my kindness are are told from the shimmering seas of Berlin west to the deserts of Brasilia, north to the snow capped peaks of Nebraska and South to the sweltering rainforests of Patagonia, since my genius shines benevolent inspiration upon physicist and taxidermist alike, since all men of women born sing […]

Antagonizing Critters in the Woods

I think that maturity, in many respects, is overrated. That is why, when I have the opportunity to poke, prod and otherwise antagonize wild animals, I consistently ignore mature concerns like “that critter will bite/poison/melt your face” in favor of the more elemental, more natural “oooh, shiny” mindset that has immediately preceded most of my […]

My Friends’ Wedding

Two of my best friends recently got married and, since I’m an irritating showboat writer and  insufferable bore fairly frequent public speaker, I felt it necessary to speechify at the reception. Here, then, is the result of my best efforts to explain one of the healthiest, happiest relationships I’ve ever seen. In order to properly describe […]

The Taste of Life

This is the script for my third Toastmasters’ speech. In Korea, there is no equivalent to Western idioms about flavor. If, for example, you call a Korean person “very sweet” in Korean, they will either think you misspoke or conclude you have some unresolved issues with cannibalism. I thought it would be interesting to use […]