Category Funny
The Taste of Life
This is the script for my third Toastmasters’ speech. In Korea, there is no equivalent to Western idioms about flavor. If, for example, you call a Korean person “very sweet” in Korean, they will either think you misspoke or conclude you have some unresolved issues with cannibalism. I thought it would be interesting to use […]
인생의 맛
3번째 토스트마스터스 연설 각본입니다. 제생각에는 음식과 인생은 비슷합니다. 둘다 행복의 원천입니다. 음식의 종류는 많고 인생종류도 많습니다. 음식처럼, 인생에도 유효기간 이있습니다. 미국 사람들은 성공을 세이버리 맛이라고 말합니다. 우리 속담에서는 패배는 쓴 맛이고 실망은 신 맛이라고합니다. 튼튼한 사람들은 짜고 착한 사람들은 달콤합니다. 하지만 모든 사람은 인상이라는 맛을 맛볼 수 없습니다. (멈춤) 테디 루세벨트는 저의 […]
Wayfarer’s Challenge
This is an article I wrote for A Holistic Journey. South Korea was, and still is, a means of escape for me. On a practical level, it offered me a ticket out of my depressing neighborhood in Nevada (U.S.) with the meth lab across the street. On a slightly higher level, it released the […]
Payoffs
I’m now well into year ten of my writing career. That’s almost exactly one third of my life, almost exactly as long as I’ve lived independently, almost exactly as long as I’ve had that one stupid whisker that grows into the corner of my mouth and cannot be shaved without razor burn. It has taken […]
Compromises
My car makes me tired an awful lot of the time. It’s noisy, it rides sufficiently rough to cause involuntary exhalations on a regular basis and it’s ugly – pretty much the perfect automotive recipe for female repellent. Pressed into the unnatural half of its dual roles (race car, commuter box), my little Daewoo sucks. I […]
A Decision of Immense Importance, A Choice of Incredible Significance, A Coded Reference to My Own Indecision.
Friends, I’ve got two books started and I haven’t decided which one to buckle down on next. I could, of course, really think about what makes more sense for continuity, consider marketing and ponder the milieu. However, doing so would require me to take time from valuable tasks like watching season two of Justified, stalking […]
Kindergarten
This is an excerpt from “Price Fixing,” a novel I intend to pursue soon. If you’d like me to focus on this novel next, please vote here. Kindergarten – My first real, fully formed memory concerns a game of tag. I wasn’t even playing, I don’t think – perhaps someone had just tagged me out. Regardless, […]
A Tale of Exceptionally Vivid Lust
Beowulf Two, Beauty Never Rests, A Tale of Exceptionally Vivid Lust. Suddenly, Beowulf heard the portal gate suck shut wryly. He cringed cryingly with fear, tears of blood running down his cheeks. Ever since he’d taken a job as a pool boy he was scared horrifically every day. The space wives could be really moody […]
An Open Letter to Peter Schiff
Dear Peter, I just wanted to say first of all that I’m a massive fan of yours. I’m not sure if it’s your paranoid tone, the way your face undulates like a stormy sea as you speak or if it’s simply because you’ve decided that, instead of the innocuous “Pete” appellation commonly adopted by those […]
Ben Garrido's Author Page 