Murrietta the Moral has a problem. Her boss, Maurine the Mercenary, wants to develop the idyllic Bullseyesian tribe’s land for Capitalism Berry farming. She thinks that by cozying up to corporations, she can increase the province’s tax revenues and help out under-funded schools. Oh, the naivete.
The corporate exploitation of indigenous peoples’s resources has always been a pet peeve for Murrietta. Those bastards just want to enrich themselves, they aren’t thinking about the best interests of the indigenous people. Just thinking about it make Murietta the Moral angry.
Still, her boss wants her to screen a proposal from Corey Corporation, CEO of Angels Incorporated. Murrietta suspects this will be a massive waste of time, but it’s still her job. Whatever.
Corey Corporation knocks twice on Murrietta’s office door and takes a seat on the other side of her desk. He immediately spreads out several laminated sheets and draws her attention to the first, titled “sustainable business plan for partnering with indigenous populations.”
“Murrietta,” Corey Corporation begins. “I want you to know first of all that my business values its reputation very highly. This is because ethical business practices and good community relations are strongly linked to higher corporate profits.”
Murrietta is irritated that the only reason Corey Corporation has mentioned for ethical practices depends on his personal avarice. These corporate types are all the same. Damned greedsters.
“The first phase of my plan is to offer every Bullseyesian tribesman a job on the Capitalism Berry farms,” Corey said. “We want this to be a partnership. We’ve found that if our partners feel invested they put much more effort into productivity. This, as you can imagine, is good for both our profits and theirs.”
“You don’t seem to care very much about the Bullseyesians very much for their own sake,” Murrietta the Moral says. “I don’t know if I can trust someone who is only out to help themselves.”
Corey Corporation is a little surprised by that, but moves quickly to his second laminated card.
“We also plan to form a cooperative venture with the Bullseyesian leaders to explore tourism opportunities,” Corey Corporation says. “We intend to make the Bullseyesians part owners in this venture, for the same reasons I mentioned above. This will give the entire community vastly more choices to determine its future than if we simply leave them in isolation.”
As if they will choose anything but corporate corruption and the destruction of their ancient traditions, Murrietta the Moral thought. Still, she had to remain professional.
“Well, Mr. Corporation,” she says. “I’ll look your proposal over, but I don’t think you have much of a chance. We value the Bullseyesians for their own sakes. We care about their ancient traditions and we don’t want to corrupt all that with outside contamination. It’s pretty clear we don’t share your values.”
Corey Corporation was a little frustrated, but as soon as he reached his car, he called Maurine the Mercenary in an effort to go over Murrietta the Moral’s head. He found her to be much more ameniable.
“How could you let those corporate greedsters into our province?” Murrietta the Moral asks.
“Their proposal is fair, and it will earn our province a lot of tax revenue,” Maurine the Mercenary answers. “We have voters to think about. They want better funding for the schools and better roads. This is the best way to do it.”
“But these corporate greedsters don’t care about anything but money!”
“Their motives are not my concern,” Maurine the Mercenary says. “Their proposal will have good results.”
Murrietta threw her hands up and cursed.
“I am not going to let you exploit the Bullseyesian land for Capitalism Berry farming. Just wait until I tell Fred Freedom about your cut throat, dog eat dog approach to politics!”
With that, Murrietta the moral quit her job, called social activist Fred Freedom and arranged the next step in her fight for justice. He joined her at a fair trade certified organic restaurant and got right to discussing strategy.
“Well,” he says. “I’ve been looking into Angels Incorporated and they seem to really value their image. We can hit them where it hurts if we protest in front of their offices and show the world how they want to exploit these indigenous people.”
Two weeks later, they and several hundred other protesters formed a blockade around Angels Incorporated headquarters. Chanting slogans and shaming greedsters, the protesters completely shut down Corey Corporation’s planning meetings. The news vans appeared as Fred Freedom yelled into his bullhorn.
“Hey corporations, we don’t want your dog eat dog attitudes, we don’t want your greed, we don’t want you destroying beautiful indigenous cultures!”
Corey Corporation called his planners, marketers and outreach staff into the boardroom. His frustration was clearly evident, but he wanted to put on a brave face.
“Guys,” he says. “I’m really sorry, but this project isn’t going to continue. I was really excited to get into Capitalism Berry farming, but the damage to our reputation is simply too great. We can’t throw good money after bad, so I’m calling it off. For all of you who’ve been working so hard on this project, I’m sorry.”
Corey Corporation came down to the steps in front of Angels Incorporated as the crowd jeered and yelled. He held up his hands and requested Fred Freedom’s bullhorn. When it was quiet enough to talk, Corey Corporation admitted defeat.
“Angels Incorporated is officially ending its involvement in the Capitalism Berry project. That is all.”
Murrietta the Moral, Fred Freedom and the protesters erupted into applause at this announcement. They danced in the streets as Corey Corporation made the lonely walk back into his office buidling.
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